Liz Soost was having a normal afternoon. Ticking off the tiny things that make up days.
She picked up her son from school. And because it was his birthday, she ran to Hy-Vee to grab the cake her husband had ordered for him.
At first she couldn’t find the cake at the bakery counter, but then saw it on a shelf. She looked for the slip to pay on her way out of the store, but located none.
Then she saw the card.
“This cake was anonymously paid for by a mother, in memory of her son who would have turned 10 today. Enjoy.”
“I just stopped dead in my tracks,” Soost said. “I started getting tears in my eyes. Then I took a picture and sent it to my husband. And basically everyone else I knew. I was just speechless that someone could be so selfless.”
Everyone she sent the picture to had the same reaction. Soost was overwhelmed by the gesture.
“I really wanted to make sure the person who did that, that they knew how grateful we are,” she said.
With an anonymous benefactor, she had no one to thank. But she wanted to put something good into the world, too. So she took the photo of the card — and one of her smiling 7-year-old holding his Pokemon cake — and posted it to social media.
The post was a hit, and through the magic of social media I was able to speak to the anonymous mother who bought the cake.
She wanted to stay anonymous but said she would be proud to be referred to as Christian’s Mom.
Christian’s Mom lost her son when he was just 6 months old. He was born with a heart condition that required surgery to fix. The first surgery was a success, and doctors in Michigan were preparing for a second surgery when he died.
Christian’s Mom, and his dad and brothers, have worked diligently and selflessly to honor his memory. They provide meals for other families dealing with loss. They celebrate Christian’s birthday and visit the cemetery each year on the day he passed away.
This year, with his birthday approaching, Christian’s Mom had a realization.
“All the memories I have of my son, he is a baby,” she said. “And with this milestone birthday, I kept thinking about what he would be like as a 10-year-old. What would he like? I wanted to celebrate his birthday, and I wanted to do something for another child.”
So she called Hy-Vee and asked if she could pay for a child’s birthday cake, preferably one around ten years old or so. They found one that fit the bill.
“I wasn’t sure, but I asked if I could know the age, and they were so kind. It was just perfect, I was able to see the cake, and think, ‘Maybe Christian would have picked something like that.’ What a gift that was,” she said.
Talking with Christian’s Mom, I was genuinely overwhelmed. By her faith, her kindness, her fierce desire to honor her son’s memory. And by her ability to take her loss — that thing she knew she was missing out on — and turn it into something good to put into the world.
I told her so.
“It amazes me, too,” she said. “How God can take pain and grief and turn it into beauty. God presents opportunities, all the time. We just have to have an open heart and look carefully. Acts of kindness go both ways.”
Soost was amazed, as well.
“It really hit me, that even when you’re going through something really hard, you can still see goodness. And you can still do something good,” she said. “Even in grief and with all those things, there is always someone who is willing to help.”
Grief and loss affects everyone differently. It’s surely valid to feel anger. Even despair. And I honestly cannot imagine the pain of losing a child.
It takes a special kind of person and a special kind of love to truly count the holes in a life, to take even the details and try to turn them into a gift for a stranger. To carry that legacy forward and work to make the world a better place.
“Life is so precious,” Christian’s Mom said. “It’s not to be taken for granted. So let’s celebrate his birthday.”
And do you know what happens, sometimes, when one person has that kind of strength? Other people notice, and the good they put into the world gets multiplied.
In addition to wanting to thank Christian’s Mom, Soost said she’s working on ideas for how to pay the generosity forward.
“We’re just so very grateful,” Soost said. “And I have had more than a few people say to me, ‘Oh, I should do that,’ or ‘I am going to start doing that.’”
It seems like such a tiny thing, a birthday cake. But to be the cause of such a large amount of kindness radiating out into the world? What a large legacy for a little boy.
Linehan is the Register’s managing editor and welcomes comments at jlinehan@brookingsregister.com.
