As our rural friends set aside winter woes for the exciting spring rush, here’s a list that covers many of the laws of farming.
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As our rural friends set aside winter woes for the exciting spring rush, here’s a list that covers many of the laws of farming.
• The engine and the warranty always expire at the same time.
• The bean market goes up 20 cents on the day after you sell yours.
• “Interchangeable” won’t.
• “Unbreakable” isn’t.
• “Guaranteed” means “good luck.”
• You always end up with 11 rows left to plant with your 12-row planter.
• Nails only puncture the inside dual.
• Pocket gophers live forever.
• A never-ending supply of field stones are down there waiting for their turn to surface.
• Cockleburs grow only in the row.
• It never snows in May
• Implement dealers always lack just one part. Yours.
• The markets are good when you have absolutely nothing to sell.
• Lumber cut to length is always an inch too short.
• The wrong part comes in the right box.
• “Labor saving” means saved man hours at the factory.
• The right tool is never in the chest.
• A dropped tool will always roll under the truck to the exact geographic center.
• You have every sized bolt except the size you happen to need at that moment.
• The combine always breaks down the last day of harvest.
• “Reworked” means “repainted.”
• The tractor cab air conditioner breaks down only on the hottest days.
• The tractor cab heater breaks down only on the coldest days.
• It will always rain the day before you have to load hogs.
• The auger always breaks at the top of the bin.
• “Never grease” means “soon to cease.”
• The weather is either too hot, too cold, too wet or just too darn good to last.
• At an auction sale, the auctioneer’s term “hardly used” means “hardly used since it broke.”
• A farmer firmly believes that it will rain tomorrow and that it will be a better year next year.
Maybe this little poem sums it all up quite well.
“The toiler in the city
admits the country charm.
“He toils away and hopes someday
to buy a little farm.
“The farmer, too, is busy.
“He salts his profits down.
“The prospects cheer him for the year,
“He hopes to move to town.”
If you’d like to comment, email the author at cfcecil@swiftel.net.
