It began more than 30 years ago during a geography class at South Dakota State University. The instructor, Douglas O’Neill, and one of his students, Daniel Gilbertson, got to talking and found that they shared the most tragic of common ground. Both were widowers. Both had school-age children at home. Both dealt with the ongoing twin challenges of grief and single parenthood.

In what was likely a two-man support group, they began to discuss their situations and record the conversations, hoping that their experiences might help others one day. The outcome was “Till Death Do Us Part,” a book that was recently updated and re-released.

“We really feel that it has the potential to help other men and women, but especially men, who go through this,” said O’Neill, a retired SDSU sociology professor. “The whole book came around because we decided we would talk on the subject matter and record it, but we’d base it on two people sitting down at a restaurant or coffee shop, talking about this.”

According to O’Neill, from 200,000 to 300,000 men per year, who have school age children, become widowers.

The book is billed as a survival manual for anyone who has ever suffered a loss. When O’Neill’s wife died of breast cancer, they had six children, ages 12 years to 14 months. Gilbertson’s wife died of leukemia leaving him with two children from her previous marriage.

Part one of the book details the shock of each diagnosis, how to tell their children and friends, dealing with hospitals, insurance and hospice.

Part two details dealing with the death of their wives, coping with their final days, the funeral and grief.

O’Neill and Gilbertson both had first wives who kept diaries and journals. The book is interspersed with the thoughts of those women and how they reacted to their cancer journeys.

Part three offers a look at the details of life as a single parent: child care, going back to work, bills, paperwork and dealing with personal belongings.

Part four takes on dating as a single parent. Both men have remarried, connecting with women who were willing to enter marriages that offered a ready-made family.

The book was released years ago with a different title and, according to O’Neill, a lousy marketing plan. O’Neill said he hopes his new publisher and the updated book can make an impact this time, not just through sales of the book but through the number of people who can be helped by learning about the authors’ experiences.

Not satisfied with being authors, O’Neill and Gilbertson, who are both retired, also want to be public speakers. “What we’d like to do is talk to conferences and seminars,” O’Neill said.

Since the book is based on two friends discussing their lives over coffee, O’Neill said he envisions going out on stage to sit in comfortable chairs and have some coffee with Gilbertson while they talk about the book and then answer questions from the audience.

“We kind of enjoy answering questions about our experience,” O’Neill said. “There are so many people who come up and want to ask you, ‘What was it like?’”

“Till Death Do Us Part will soon be available through the Amazon and Barnes and Noble websites. It’s also available from The Ewings Publishing, 1-888-421-2397.