Brookings resident Carl Kline is an ordained clergyman, part-time teacher and occasional blogger.

Here I am, an older man, and I’ve been living with a misunderstanding about the meaning of a word all my life. A friend suggested I write my column this week on something upbeat, and the word “joy” came up.

I’ve labored under the idea that “joy” was defined as a rather “intense but fleeting emotion.” But when I checked out the definition of joy on the site that gives us all of our correct answers these days (Google, not Webster), I discovered an “intense but fleeting emotion” was the definition of “happiness.” Joy was defined as: “a more long lasting state of being, characterized by contentment and satisfaction with life overall.”

So what is it that brings joy into our lives; nothing fleeting, but enduring? For me, it is all about relationship; about being connected with others; with nature; with an attitude of faith and hope.

People might make jokes about the nosey neighbor or the overbearing relative, but no-one finds joy in facing a completely solitary life. We are constructed for relationship. Adam needed a partner in Eden. No one is born without a mother. The nuclear family takes its knocks from critics but it generally provides stability and long term care that are the building blocks of joy.

Wedding days are usually full of happiness. Sometimes the next week of marriage brings the first bitter argument, and one only finds joy as disagreements are aired, endured and gradually resolved, over the months and years of relationship. Happiness is fleeting. Joy is enduring,

Years ago a friend of mine was given a few months to live. He called me on the telephone to apologize for anything he might have done in our relationship that hurt or offended me. He asked for my forgiveness. I couldn’t think of anything to be forgiven and told him so. As far as I was concerned our relationship was firm and sound. He thanked me and the next time we met was at his funeral. I understood from his wife he had called a number of people with the same request for forgiveness. He was intent on making sure there was no outstanding brokenness in relationships before exiting this life. My guess is his last days, although there was bodily suffering, were filled with inner joy in the soundness of his relationships.

I met Ed Clark when he hired me for a staff position with Camp Merrowvista, located in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. He was an avid climber and was focused on climbing all of the mountains over 4,000 feet. We became climbers together, and his focus on climbing them all became mine as well. Even though he had a foot problem that caused his stride to be uneven, it didn’t seem to faze him when we often had difficult terrain to maneuver; and we always seemed to have stimulating and often environmentally knowledgeable conversations; as well as comfortable silences.

More than any other experiences in the natural world, those climbs in the White Mountains were times of joy; an inner sense and spirit that endures even to the present day. It’s part of the contentment and satisfaction of my life right now, even when it’s no small task climbing the stairs to a second floor bedroom.

For me, both mountains and water have been formative in implanting joy. There’s a wonderful connection with a lake if you are in it, not just observing it. Swimming has been an instrument of joy for me in the natural world.

And then there is an attitude of faith and hope. My first thought in considering writing about joy was the hymn “Joy to the World.” Some of the lines in that hymn suggest immense joy, whether you are Christian or not. For instance: “And heaven and nature sing; Let men their songs employ; While fields and floods, rocks hills and plains repeat the sounding joy; And Wonders of his love; And wonders of his love.”

The wonders are all around us, if only we have eyes to see, ears to hear, are willing to be touched and to feel, to be in relationship.

Some believe joy is limitless, like the stars or the oceans. It’s a transformative reservoir that can be chosen. Choosing joy can only be more life fulfilling for each of us, and for all we know, may help spark a bit of light in the life of another. Sing it: “Joy to the World!”